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Joe Blevins 
"Don't I look handsome?"
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 Posted - 01/06/2007 : 19:46:53
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[A group of execs are sitting around a table.]
EXEC #1: Okay, boys, let's think up some new, exciting, original ideas for horror flicks. I'm opening up the floor for suggestions.
[Dead silence.]
EXEC #1: Okay, screw that. We just need to make a quick profit in the first weekend and get the heck out of Dodge, so to speak, before bad word of mouth spreads. So what hasn't been remade yet? What we need are titles from the 1970s and 1980s the fans can sort of remember seeing on cable or video when they were kids. Let's see here. Looks like they beat us to the punch on The Hitcher. The Wicker Man flopped. Bay already did Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
EXEC #2: Twice.
EXEC #1: How about The Hills Have Eyes?
EXEC #3: Done.
EXEC #1: The Omen?
EXEC #4: Taken.
EXEC #1: How about some of that Stephen King stuff, like Carrie or The Shining?
EXEC #2: Both redone as TV movies.
EXEC #1: Damn. The Exorcist?
EXEC #4: Two competing prequels.
EXEC #3: Not to mention a full-scale theatrical re-release.
EXEC #1: Halloween?
EXEC #3: Rob Zombie's doing it.
EXEC #1: Last House on the Left?
EXEC #2: Coming in 2008.
EXEC #1: Well, how about some of the more obscuros, like When a Stranger Calls or Black Christmas?
EXEC #4: Sorry.
EXEC #1: Both?
EXEC #4: Both.
EXEC #1: Crap. Well, I'm outta ideas.
EXEC #3: What about Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator?
EXEC #1: Huh?
EXEC #3: Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator. Came out in the eighties.
EXEC #1: What's it about?
EXEC #3: Don't know. Never saw it. Stuffing Stephanie in an incinerator, I guess.
EXEC #1: Somebody check the IMDB. See if there are any remakes planned.
EXEC #2: Nothing. No sequels, no prequels, no special editions. Nothing!
EXEC #1: Gentlemen, I think we've got our next great remake!
EXEC #4: Who do we get to write and direct?
EXEC #1: Who cares?
[They all laugh.] |
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demonic 
"Cinemaniac"
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Airbolt
"teil mann, teil maschine"
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Posted - 01/06/2007 : 21:11:00
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EXEC 5 : " Sorry I'm late Guys , I had a nooner. Say...Have we remade the Ring?"
EXEC 1 : " Twice "
EXEC 5 : " The Grudge? "
EXEC 2 : " Uh-huh "
EXEC 5 : " Dark Water ? "
EXEC 3 : " Jennifer Connolly . Y'Know - wore the Wife Beater in that ponycrap they filmed in Target! "
ALL ( except EXEC 2 ) : " Hmmmmmmmm "
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GHcool
"Forever a curious character."
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w22dheartlivie
"Kitty Lover"
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Posted - 01/07/2007 : 00:08:34
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quote:
Originally posted by GHcool
And check out these remakes and sequels:
Oh, God!
Sunset Boulevard
I can't imagine Oh, God being better without George Burns. As for Sunset Boulevard, no. Unless it's the musical version. |
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Airbolt
"teil mann, teil maschine"
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Posted - 01/07/2007 : 01:08:45
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EXEC 2 : " So , anyone order out ? "
EXEC 1 : " How about Szechuan? "
EXEC 4 : " Gives me Gas "
EXEC 3 : " I know! "
EXEC 1 : " OK , we skip the food and plan another film "
EXEC 4 : " You're the man "
EXEC 1 : " I see it involving a really old Guy"
EXEC 2 : " Maybe a Granpa "
EXEC 3 : " Yeah , He could be really cunning as well "
EXEC 4 : " Sort of ...foxy? "
EXEC 1 : " Why not have him play mean tricks on a couple of young Boys? "
EXEC 3 : " Not Sorority Girls? "
EXEC 5 : " Sorry , Doesnt fit the punch line "
EXEC 4 : " So , we've got a Film about a Granpa whos knd of foxy and he plays tricks on Young Boys "
EXEC 1 : " If only we could think of a title ! "
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GHcool
"Forever a curious character."
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Posted - 01/07/2007 : 06:18:48
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quote:
Originally posted by wildhartlivie
quote:
Originally posted by GHcool
And check out these remakes and sequels:
Oh, God!
Sunset Boulevard
I can't imagine Oh, God being better without George Burns. As for Sunset Boulevard, no. Unless it's the musical version.
The new Sunset Blvd movie is based on the musical.
I heard rumors that Ellen DeGeneres was going to play God. When I saw the original Oh God film for the first time when I was about 13, its made me feel really good. Its image of God as George Burns and the writers of the film created him was so different from other images of God I had seen until that point. If there is a God governing the universe and the heavens, I think I would be most comfortable (and not at all surprised) if it wasn't that much different from the God in Oh God. |
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Airbolt
"teil mann, teil maschine"
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Posted - 01/08/2007 : 11:53:15
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EXEC 2 : " EXEC 4 , Want to come Back to my place?"
EXEC 4 " " O.K "
( One of my favourite John Cleese and Michael Palin moments! ) |
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ChocolateLady
"500 Chocolate Delights"
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Posted - 01/08/2007 : 12:16:06
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quote:
Originally posted by GHcool
And check out these remakes and sequels:
Rambo IV
Plot outline: "The next chapter finds Rambo recruited by a group of Christian human rights missionaries to protect them against pirates..." I'm sorry, but is this one supposed to be a comedy? That has GOT to be the most stupid sounding story I've ever heard in my life for an action drama thriller.
(Better get Leslie Nielsen to star instead of Stallone.) |
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Demisemicenturian
"Four ever European"
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Posted - 01/08/2007 : 12:32:54
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quote:
Originally posted by ChocolateLady
That has GOT to be the most stupid sounding story I've ever heard in my life for an action drama thriller.
And what on Earth is 'Pearl of the Cobra' supposed to refer to? What would ever be called that?  |
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Ali
"Those aren't pillows."
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Posted - 01/08/2007 : 12:34:13
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The plot is slightly different from that, actually; it involves the Thai government, and some sort of human rights group, if I remember correctly. They are having problems with the location and the actual Thai government, so it is most likely Rambo IV will end up getting delayed by about a year, if not more.
The re-imagined He-Man and the Masters of the Universe re-make is officially dead, by the way. |
Edited by - Ali on 01/08/2007 12:54:12 |
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ChocolateLady
"500 Chocolate Delights"
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Posted - 01/08/2007 : 12:59:00
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quote:
Originally posted by Salopian
quote:
Originally posted by ChocolateLady
That has GOT to be the most stupid sounding story I've ever heard in my life for an action drama thriller.
And what on Earth is 'Pearl of the Cobra' supposed to refer to? What would ever be called that?
Well... cobras have very small...
nevermind |
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Demisemicenturian
"Four ever European"
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Posted - 01/08/2007 : 13:03:35
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quote:
Originally posted by ChocolateLady
Well... cobras have very small...
nevermind
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ChocolateLady
"500 Chocolate Delights"
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Posted - 01/08/2007 : 13:03:58
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quote:
Originally posted by Ali
The plot is slightly different from that, actually; it involves the Thai government, and some sort of human rights group, if I remember correctly. They are having problems with the location and the actual Thai government, so it is most likely Rambo IV will end up getting delayed by about a year, if not more.
Thai? The IMDb site talks about Burma... and we all know that Burma isn't Burma anymore... it's been Myanmar since 1989. Still... any film that has both Christian human rights missionaries and pirates just can't be taking itself seriously.
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Demisemicenturian
"Four ever European"
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Posted - 01/08/2007 : 13:07:01
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quote:
Originally posted by ChocolateLady
The IMDb site talks about Burma... and we all know that Burma isn't Burma anymore... it's been Myanmar since 1989.
No, it is Burma. The regime introduced the name 'Myanmar', but it's not supported by the population. (Actually, I've just looked it up and it's complicated, but what I've said is basically the case. Also, whatever a country, even with the people's support, changes its name to, it doesn't mean that it is in charge of what it is called in other languages.) |
Edited by - Demisemicenturian on 01/08/2007 13:10:50 |
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ChocolateLady
"500 Chocolate Delights"
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Posted - 01/08/2007 : 13:09:32
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quote:
Originally posted by Salopian
quote:
Originally posted by ChocolateLady
The IMDb site talks about Burma... and we all know that Burma isn't Burma anymore... it's been Myanmar since 1989.
No, it is Burma. The regime introduced the name 'Myanmar', but it's not supported by the population.
Than Shwe for that information!
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Help! We're running out of horror movies to remake
