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demonic 
"Cinemaniac"
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 Posted - 01/24/2007 : 23:58:15
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There's a story that is part of my family lore now, that whenever 'Flash Gordon' is on the television, or anyone is foolish enough to mention anything to do with it in front of my mother the same old story comes out...
I was taken to see it as a kid, I must have been four or five, and in the chase section on the forest of Arbor (by which point Flash has already been publicly executed and then resurrected, suspended in a cage in a swamp, nearly poisonously stabbed by a very horrible slimy stump dwelling beast, nearly drowned in quicksand, and then nearly eaten by a large green balloon - well, man-eating swamp beast) I very reasonably declared, much to the delight of the otherwise silent cinema, "well, Mummy, it looks like it's not Flash Gordon's day".
Cue twenty five years of painful anecdote. |
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demonic
"Cinemaniac"
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Posted - 01/25/2007 : 00:00:16
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Oh, and once when I went to the cinema to see something else as a slightly older patron, a trailer for "Free Willy" came on, to which a very funny lady shouted out at the appearance of the film title at the end of the trailer... "Yes please!"
[That may only make sense to those aware of a certain British euphemism] |
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duh 
"catpurrs"
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Posted - 01/25/2007 : 02:10:38
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quote:
Originally posted by demonic
Oh, and once when I went to the cinema to see something else as a slightly older patron, a trailer for "Free Willy" came on, to which a very funny lady shouted out at the appearance of the film title at the end of the trailer... "Yes please!"
[That may only make sense to those aware of a certain British euphemism]
Free willy for everybody! Whoopee!  |
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Airbolt 
"teil mann, teil maschine"
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Posted - 01/25/2007 : 23:47:15
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quote:
Originally posted by demonic
There's a story that is part of my family lore now, that whenever 'Flash Gordon' is on the television, or anyone is foolish enough to mention anything to do with it in front of my mother the same old story comes out...
I was taken to see it as a kid, I must have been four or five, and in the chase section on the forest of Arbor (by which point Flash has already been publicly executed and then resurrected, suspended in a cage in a swamp, nearly poisonously stabbed by a very horrible slimy stump dwelling beast, nearly drowned in quicksand, and then nearly eaten by a large green balloon - well, man-eating swamp beast) I very reasonably declared, much to the delight of the otherwise silent cinema, "well, Mummy, it looks like it's not Flash Gordon's day".
Cue twenty five years of painful anecdote.
My sister reckons the following story is true. She was working in an office with a Guy named Gordon. Apparently he use to have a little sleep at lunchbreak . One Day , he woke up with a start and my sister shouted " GORDONS ALIVE ! "  |
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Airbolt
"teil mann, teil maschine"
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Posted - 01/25/2007 : 23:49:22
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quote:
Originally posted by duh
quote:
Originally posted by demonic
Oh, and once when I went to the cinema to see something else as a slightly older patron, a trailer for "Free Willy" came on, to which a very funny lady shouted out at the appearance of the film title at the end of the trailer... "Yes please!"
[That may only make sense to those aware of a certain British euphemism]
Free willy for everybody! Whoopee!
Maybe Will Smith in Free Big Willy!( altho Liam Neeson is supposed to be more suitable for this role! ) |
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Chris C 
"Four words, never backwards."
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Posted - 01/26/2007 : 20:28:28
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This is funnier looking back than it was at the time. Mrs C and I went to see The Passion of the Christ. The cinema was not very full, and about 4 rows behind us were 3 late-teen/early 20s girls. They spent sections of the film upsetting the rest of the audience by giggling at mobile phone messages and enquiring "Is that Mel Gibson" any time somebody with a beard appeared on the screen.
At the end of the movie, the first words to appear on the screen, in VERY BIG LETTERS (like on the poster outside) are "Directed by Mel Gibson". Cue a collective "ooohhhh" from behind us, and loud sniggers from everyone else. |
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Conan The Westy
"Father, Faithful Friend, Fwiffer"
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Posted - 01/27/2007 : 05:06:19
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When we were watching Poltergeist at the cinema a few of us started singing Shakin' Steven's Green Door at an inappropriate moment.
Also after watching The Goonies we nearly tripped over a young couple pashing outside the theatre. When I enquired "Any braces" they went beet-red and my friends cracked up. Perfect timing (it happens so rarely with me, hence my clear recollection of an incident of 20 years old). |
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Downtown
"Welcome back, Billy Buck"
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Posted - 01/27/2007 : 15:44:12
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| When I saw The Phantom Menace, about 30 seconds into the closing credits I yelled out "That sucked, George!" and it was like The Emperor's New Clothes...suddenly everyone in the theater seemed willing to admit it. It wasn't so much a funny comment as a funny situation. |
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damalc
"last watched: Sausage Party"
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Posted - 01/30/2007 : 00:51:00
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i have a couple.
before the feature, they showed a preview for "Castaway." right after Hanks washes up on the beach, stands up, looks around and says, "Hello?" i called out in my best Bob Denver voice, "Skipperrrrr." got a good laugh from the rest of the audience.
during a school field trip to a movie, 9th grade, i think, a girls yells out in the middle of the movie, "Get your f-ing hand out of my pants!" now i look back and think that was staged but it was hilarious to a theater full of adolescents. |
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Demisemicenturian
"Four ever European"
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Posted - 02/05/2007 : 09:39:07
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| When I saw Blood Diamond, at the moment when Danny and Maddy separate, someone shouted (at the front of a large screen, while I was at the back) "Go on! Kiss 'er! Kiss 'er!" and everyone broke out laughing. |
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Rovark
"Luck-pushing, rule-bending, chance-taking reviewer"
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Posted - 02/05/2007 : 20:54:33
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Not so much a funny comment but a situation.
Watching "The Howling" some 25 years ago in the Fleapit in Cardiff. Obviously, being a horror movie, there's a certain amount of expectation and excitement as it begins and at a point when it went quiet on screen, the place's guard dog, a bloody great German Shepherd started barking and scratching outside the door just behind us. The whole audience collectively jumped, then burst into nervous giggles. My guess would be the owner did it deliberately as I can't recall ever hearing the dog during a screening before or after, but it was priceless. |
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Airbolt
"teil mann, teil maschine"
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Posted - 02/06/2007 : 13:02:00
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I once went to a small cinema which was privately owned. I got a ticket from the owner and asked if there was a coffee machine. He disappeared to the kitchen to boil some water - while the queue for tickets grew behind me.
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Edited by - Airbolt on 02/06/2007 13:04:19 |
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Tori
"I don't get it...."
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Posted - 02/09/2007 : 18:08:00
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I was a rather dramatic teenager and so we have a few incidents that were pretty funny.
One was the first time I saw Titanic. I was sobbing so loud that people were turning around to stare at me. When I came out of the theatre, I had huge, thick black streaks up and down my arm. Apparently, I'd worn quite a bit of mascara and wiped my eyes repeatedly with my forearm.
Second was when I saw the Sixth Sense alone. I was 14 or so and in the theatre and I absoutely could not handle the movie. I had screamed and cowered and hid and finally I sort of crawled out of the theatre and joined my parents in "Random Hearts". The second time I tried to watch the movie, I pulled on the shirt of the guy sitting next to me and broke some buttons. He wasn't too happy.
Then there's the time I saw Conspiracy Theory, I was probably twelve and was not happy that they couldn't be together in the end. An usher had to help my Mom carry me out of the theatre because I was crying so hard I couldn't walk straight.
By the time I was fifteen, nobody would go to movies with me and I totally understand! If my friends and I did go together, they'd sit a few rows ahead. One time one of the group brought along someone who didn't know me and felt sorry for me and sat with me and I scared the crap out of him by screaming during a horror movie. He learned his lesson quickly.
When I was five or so, my father took me to see Father of the Bride. At one point I turned and saw that my Dad was crying so I said really loudly "WHY ARE YOU CRYING, DADDY?" Everyone laughed.
Here's the last one. At the movies as a child (seven or so?) there was an advertisement for a movie full of gunfire and explosions and the announcer said "Starring Ice-T and Ice Cube." I said "Not with all that fire...they'll be melted in no time!" |
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Montgomery
"F**k!"
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Posted - 02/09/2007 : 19:11:33
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quote:
Originally posted by Tori
I was a rather dramatic teenager and so we have a few incidents that were pretty funny.
One was the first time I saw Titanic. I was sobbing so loud that people were turning around to stare at me. When I came out of the theatre, I had huge, thick black streaks up and down my arm. Apparently, I'd worn quite a bit of mascara and wiped my eyes repeatedly with my forearm.
Second was when I saw the Sixth Sense alone. I was 14 or so and in the theatre and I absoutely could not handle the movie. I had screamed and cowered and hid and finally I sort of crawled out of the theatre and joined my parents in "Random Hearts". The second time I tried to watch the movie, I pulled on the shirt of the guy sitting next to me and broke some buttons. He wasn't too happy.
Then there's the time I saw Conspiracy Theory, I was probably twelve and was not happy that they couldn't be together in the end. An usher had to help my Mom carry me out of the theatre because I was crying so hard I couldn't walk straight.
By the time I was fifteen, nobody would go to movies with me and I totally understand! If my friends and I did go together, they'd sit a few rows ahead. One time one of the group brought along someone who didn't know me and felt sorry for me and sat with me and I scared the crap out of him by screaming during a horror movie. He learned his lesson quickly.
When I was five or so, my father took me to see Father of the Bride. At one point I turned and saw that my Dad was crying so I said really loudly "WHY ARE YOU CRYING, DADDY?" Everyone laughed.
Here's the last one. At the movies as a child (seven or so?) there was an advertisement for a movie full of gunfire and explosions and the announcer said "Starring Ice-T and Ice Cube." I said "Not with all that fire...they'll be melted in no time!"
You buried the lead. Your Dad cried during Father of the Bride?
EM :) |
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Montgomery
"F**k!"
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Posted - 02/09/2007 : 19:12:56
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Tori, your reactions are amazing.  Might I suggest you get a good DVD player and only watch at home? 
EM :) |
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Funny Comments in Cinemas
