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MisterBadIdea 
"PLZ GET MILK, KTHXBYE"
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 Posted - 01/07/2008 : 04:09:17
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I'm probably the only person here who's gonna take the time to think of ten movies they hated this year, so everyone else can just pick the handful they hated.
Now, let me be clear, these aren't the worst films of the year. Most of us don't go out of our ways to catch the films most universally derided as bad, so we miss them. These films are ranked not in how bad I thought they were, but how much I hated them. I think that Balls of Fury, Disturbia, I Know Who Killed Me and even The Kite Runner are probably worse films than some on this list, but I can't really hate them the way that I hate such films as:
10. Dan in Real Life -- Actually quite charming in a lot of ways and easily the best film on this list, the film still veered into unwatchability on too many occasions, mostly as a result of those fucking Full House daughters. Infurating whiners to a one, they all deserved to be grounded without allowance for years, and the extent that they ran roughshod over their poor dad was infuriating. But its biggest problem is how it claims that real love is messy, then shows it being messy in the cleanest, most organized way possible -- a flaw it shares with #5 on the list.
9. Blades of Glory -- I am a Will Ferrell fan, but from here on out, what he desperately needs to do is 1) stay away from human black hole Jared Hess, 2) make fun of something which isn't already well beyond parody, and 3) find a new shtick besides pseudo-macho hot air machine who competes in some kind of sport. Looming on the horizon: Semi-Pro.
8. The Brave One -- A snoozer and a half, this is a pro-vigilante film that buries itself in pretension and vague mindgames so that it won't have to admit that it's a pro-vigilante film. It excuses the justice-miscarrying ways of its protagonist by virtue of her victimhood, and while Jodie Foster is more than on form as an actress, I suspect her backstage meddling as producer may have turned this film into outright shit.
7. Ghost Rider -- Absolutely the wrong way to make a superhero movie, it never gives any character any understandable superpowers, making every battle meaningless, and it scrubs its lead character clean of any moral ambiguity despite the fact that he sold his soul to the devil, and it also sinks the film by refusing to take its own premise seriously -- but mostly, it's just halfassed and irritating.
6. The Golden Compass -- The worst literary adaptation I may have ever seen, this film treks from plot point to plot point without ever once trying to make it clear what the hell is going on, imbuing any character with any personality whatsoever, or once attempting to engage the human element.
5. Enchanted -- Inexplicably overrated, this movie is an infuriatingly limp satire of fairy tales, lacking even the balls of the Shrek movies. It decries Giselle's romance with her Prince because it takes place in a day, then holds up Giselle's romance with Patrick Dempsey as pure because it takes place in three days. Most dumbass chick flicks are excused by saying that it's a fairy tale, not a documentary -- but then what to make of this movie, which is explicitly supposed to NOT be a fairy tale, yet falls under every mindless fairytale trope, the worst of which is the world's most easily resolved love triangle. This movie has nothing to do with the real world and shouldn't have pretended to take place there.
4. Underdog -- Were I ranking on objective quality and not the amount of bile it stirred in me, this would go right to the top of the list. Lazy to the point of barely existing, this film is an exercise in no one at all caring to do anything except taking money out of mommy's purse, and a testament to the lack of respect Hollywood has towards children and children's films. A generation raised on this is doomed.
3. Transformers -- The death of the action movie. I've actually enjoyed Michael Bay movies in the past, honestly, and this film still felt like a giant robot was pissing on me and laughing. That it dispenses with character development and goes over the top with spectacle is just part of the charms of its genre; what it adds is a glut of kindergarten-level jokes, no cool heroes or cool villains, an overcomplicated and meaningless plot, and action sequences so unfollowable it may well qualify as experimental cinema. Stupid in a stupid way, one of the worst films ever made.
2. Michael Clayton -- I've ranted so hard about this movie that I'm surprised it's not my number one. I've already made my objections known over and over again: it's pretentious, slow, mind-numbingly boring, and features a truly sorry horseshit ending. Every overwritten line begs for significance and ambiguity it doesn't have. I will spend the rest of my life picketing against this movie.
And our number one...
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1. Waitress -- The late Adrienne Shelly may have been a talented actress and even a talented director, but she was an absolutely atrocious writer. Had this come from a studio hack and not a respected indie actress, this would have been easily dismissed as the puerile, fairy-tale chick-flick fluff that it is. Shelly puts her own character in the worst storyline, but it's her horrifyingly stupid take on domestic abuse, marriage and motherhood that puts this right at the top for me. Obnoxious and odious to an endless degree, and I really wish I wasn't saying about a recently dead person, but the facts are what they is -- I hated this film more than anything else this year. |
Edited by - MisterBadIdea on 01/07/2008 06:07:27 |
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MM0rkeleb 
"Better than HBO."
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Posted - 01/07/2008 : 18:50:33
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I didn't really see any movies that I hated this year. If I had to pick a movie I liked the least, it would have to be a three-way tie between The Lives of Others, 300, and Zodiac. Very little interesting about any of them, but nothing really hateable either. Truth be told, all three have more or less faded from memory by now.
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silly 
"That rabbit's DYNAMITE."
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Posted - 01/07/2008 : 19:19:25
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I've only seen one of your ten least favorites (Big Fucking Robots). Wow.
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Animal Mutha 
"Who would've thunk it?"
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Posted - 01/07/2008 : 19:42:23
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Shoot'Em Up was a bit of a suckfest  |
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randall 
"I like to watch."
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Posted - 01/07/2008 : 23:24:09
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I can't wait for the Netflick of XFORMERS to get here! Baddy, I also clearly had a different view of ENCHANTED and WAITRESS than you did, but that's what makes hoss races, right, hoss?
Meantime, this Mike White/Molly Shannon flick YEAR OF THE DOG was the DOG of Sundance '07, and now for the entirety of '07, for me. Just like Ed Solomon's LEVITY was a couple years before. Never heard of either of these cinematic gems? Lucky you!
[EDIT: foxy, I know you love dogs, and I'm all for that. But sometimes you have to love movies too!] |
Edited by - randall on 01/07/2008 23:34:35 |
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TitanPa 
"Here four more"
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Posted - 01/08/2008 : 21:10:00
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| I expected Transformers on your list. But what about Spider-Man 3? |
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GHcool 
"Forever a curious character."
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Posted - 01/09/2008 : 00:55:30
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| Smokin' Aces was by far the worst movie I saw in 2007. It was a Usual Suspects-style ensemble action/gangster film about an attempt to kill a guy named Buddy Israel who rats on the mob. I like ChocolateLady's review "Another Israel extermination attempt." |
Edited by - GHcool on 01/09/2008 00:58:46 |
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TitanPa
"Here four more"
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Posted - 01/09/2008 : 04:10:52
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Now I dont go out to the movies as much as some people here. But I am glad that DVD's come out maybe 6 months after the movie leaves theaters, so I don't have to wait to long to see this years movies. I try to watch films that I know I will love. I got 'Knocked Up' from Netflix and LOVED it. I thought maybe I too could love 'SuperBad'. Boy was I wrong. I havent seen too many bad movies this year. This one takes the cake.
I nominate SuperBad |
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demonic
"Cinemaniac"
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Posted - 01/09/2008 : 18:26:41
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Many of my least favourite of the year would feature on several Fwiffers favourites of the year I expect, because increasingly the mainstream cinema I still bother to see is just as popular as ever... however... the following would all count as my picks for being numbingly stupid, or actively insulting to the intelligence, humourless, misjudged, embarrassing, boring or all of the above.
Shrek 3
Spiderman 3
Transformers
Death Proof
Black Sheep
Sunshine
Ocean's 13
My hand's down most hated though was 300.
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GHcool
"Forever a curious character."
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Posted - 01/09/2008 : 19:59:47
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quote:
Originally posted by dem08nic
Many of my least favourite of the year would feature on several Fwiffers favourites of the year I expect, because increasingly the mainstream cinema I still bother to see is just as popular as ever... however... the following would all count as my picks for being numbingly stupid, or actively insulting to the intelligence, humourless, misjudged, embarrassing, boring or all of the above.
Shrek 3
Spiderman 3
Transformers
Death Proof
Black Sheep
Sunshine
Ocean's 13
My hand's down most hated though was 300.
It seems like my picks for the best of the year are often on people's worst of the year. I find that unfortunate, funny, and humbling.
I can understand Spider-Man 3 and Transformers, since they're both shallow cotton candy, but shy do so many people on this site hate Sunshine? |
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demonic
"Cinemaniac"
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Posted - 01/09/2008 : 22:59:19
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I got stuck into it on the thread about the movie with the reasons why - I think my main issue was it was illogical in so many places, and the final reel was total rubbish. Very very pretty of course, but full of holes. I think Sunshine is more a case for me of an opportunity lost, which can be worse that a film you know is going to be popcorn fodder - it aspired for more, so had further to fall.
But GHCool I wouldn't mind so much if everyone hates what you love or vice versa; it's all opinion. As Hamlet very wisely says "nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so".  |
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Sean
"Necrosphenisciform anthropophagist."
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Posted - 01/09/2008 : 23:27:29
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My problem with Sunshine was it's genericness. I.e., "people in a spaceship for a long time fighting incessantly, with something weird happening near the end of the movie". I found it no more entertaining than a soap opera (which exist to show relentless personal conflict). Some of the FX were decent enough but ultimately it's a forgettable movie. I saw it two months ago but remember little of it so can't explain further what was wrong with it.
Oh yeah, I like techno-thrillers to be as realistic as possible, so the "instantly freezing solid when in the vacuum" part just annoyed me. |
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MisterBadIdea
"PLZ GET MILK, KTHXBYE"
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Posted - 01/10/2008 : 02:49:31
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I wouldn't call "Transformers" cotton candy; I've long compared Michael Bay movies to greasy hamburgers, and with "Transformers" all he provided was the grease.
I love action movies, but "Transformers" botched every single plot element. The acting was bad, the plot was incomprehensible, the characters unlikable, the actual stars of the movie pushed to the background -- I literally can not fathom the mind that could like it. The plot defies all logic, and even the action sequences themselves were worthless -- I couldn't understand a goddamn thing that was happening and the final sequence went on forfuckingever.
Most egregious is the omnipresent humor of the movie -- it's all mean-spirited stuff about how Middle Easterns are stupid, black people are hilarious, fat people are hilarious, old ladies giving the finger, foreign people not knowing how to speak English because they're retards, guys getting pantsed or pissed on, etc. (As a side note, "Transformers" is one of the most racist movies in recent memory.)
I can remember laughing at one point in "Transformers," when the giant robots tried to hide in the kid's backyard. I thought it was hilarious, in a this-is-so-stupid-I-can't-believe-I'm-seeing-this kind of way. I laughed like that many times in "Spider-Man 3." The strutting sequence, the dance sequence -- they're so ridiculous that I can't help but enjoy; so bad it's good still qualifies as good. I love that the film goes there -- I consider it brave. The only flaws in the film that I can see, and I admit that they aren't minor, is Mary Jane's easy acquiescence with Harry's plan and Harry's butler suddenly revealing secrets to facilitate Harry's conversion.
But personally, I don't see what else people could want in a movie, and I will not stand for it being compared to Transformers. Spider-Man 3 is the only superhero film I have ever seen that has the hero get drunk with power -- a logical step which other films never explored. Or look at Harry taunting Peter by stealing his girlfriend ("Like strawberries") and Peter's lashing out at Harry's insecurities ("Gonna cry?"). There's nothing as emotional in Transformers; I really feel there's no comparison.
While we're on the subject of action movies, I feel I should point out that "300" is close to one of the best I've ever seen. I really can't imagine what people have against it, unless you don't like CGI. I mean, I like the Jason Bourne movies but there's a sense in which they feel they're above pulp pleasures so that they can present themselves as a thinking man's action movie, and I kind of resent that. "300" is better than any of them because it doesn't fuck around with such pretentious bullshit. |
Edited by - MisterBadIdea on 01/10/2008 05:58:01 |
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GHcool
"Forever a curious character."
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Posted - 01/10/2008 : 05:50:51
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quote:
Originally posted by dem08nic
I got stuck into it on the thread about the movie with the reasons why - I think my main issue was it was illogical in so many places, and the final reel was total rubbish. Very very pretty of course, but full of holes. I think Sunshine is more a case for me of an opportunity lost, which can be worse that a film you know is going to be popcorn fodder - it aspired for more, so had further to fall.
I suppose that's fair criticism. In fact, I agree with you on all of your points. The difference was that I was kept at the edge of my seat even though I knew the plot was rubbish. It says something about the skill of the filmmakers to make a film with a rubbish plot that works as well as this one does. Anyway, you're entitled to your opinion, but I think calling Sunshine one of the worst films of the year is a bit of an overstatement considering that Smokin' Aces, Alvin and the Chipmunks, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles animated remake/sequel came out in the same year. |
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silly
"That rabbit's DYNAMITE."
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Posted - 01/11/2008 : 01:17:15
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quote:
Originally posted by GHcool
The difference was that I was kept at the edge of my seat even though I knew the plot was rubbish. It says something about the skill of the filmmakers to make a film with a rubbish plot that works as well as this one does.
I finally watched Sunshine last night (missed it at the theater and it just came out on DVD) and thought it ok - not the worst of the year, but yeah, the end had me going WTF?
Over twenty years ago, I read Sundiver (by a remarkable SF writer) so I couldn't help but compare the two mentally while watching the movie. The "crew goes nuts on a long space mission" was best done on Rocket Man, I think. 
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MisterBadIdea
"PLZ GET MILK, KTHXBYE"
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Posted - 01/12/2008 : 05:48:48
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Holy shit, did I forget Wild Hogs???
Man oh man, that is a glaring omission. Put that as, oh, my No. 6. Bump poor unassuming Dan in Real Life off of there. |
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Top Ten Least Favorite Films of the Year
