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RockGolf 
"1500+ reviews. 1 joke."
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 Posted - 06/20/2009 : 05:15:57
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Nigel Tomm
This guy makes Ed Wood look like Alfred Hitchcock and Andy Warhol look like Steven Spielberg.
He has 7 films. Each about one hour. Each named after a well known title. The Catcher In The Rye. Oedipus Rex. Even the Qu'ran.
So why is Tomm so bad?
His "films" consist of a single monochrome block of bright colour with no text, narration or dialogue.
It's like staring at a close up of a colour printer test page, but without the variety.
I've created an accolade for Nige. Here it is.
I've no doubt you can come up with adequate reviews for his less than adequate works.
In his case the old joke is true: I've seen better film in my bathtub. |
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demonic 
"Cinemaniac"
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Posted - 06/20/2009 : 10:41:30
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No "film" involved it's "art", innit. 
But there is the fairly common sense of the ridiculous and the knowing wink that comes with modern art - check out the synopsis of "Hamlet":
This is 63 minutes and 1 second of pure white screen. Nothing less and nothing more. Without compromise. Without compare. Nigel Tomm brings his own version of William Shakespeare's Hamlet. Luminous. Sensuous. Iconic. From the moment you touch the play button, the experience begins. Visually stunning, emotionally precise, the extraordinary awaits you. Probably it is one of the most intense, the most radical, the most innovative manifestation of the freedom of thought, of expression and of creation. This is the new Hamlet - the most majestic Hamlet experience by Nigel Tomm.
Interestingly he's also a self published author - he has 23 volumes of his novel consisting entirely of the word "blah" - you can buy them on Amazon.  |
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Sean
"Necrosphenisciform anthropophagist."
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Posted - 06/20/2009 : 13:25:39
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quote:
Originally posted by demonic
Interestingly he's also a self published author - he has 23 volumes of his novel consisting entirely of the word "blah" - you can buy them on Amazon.
Well it's a step up on Jack Torrance's book with "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" 50,000 times. |
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duh 
"catpurrs"
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Posted - 06/20/2009 : 17:20:08
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| I thought this topic would mention that guy who back in the 60's and 70's made and starred in his own grade-C action films that he showed at his drive-in movie theater. But, noooooo, this topic is about an artiste. (snort!) ;) |
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MisterBadIdea 
"PLZ GET MILK, KTHXBYE"
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Posted - 06/20/2009 : 18:13:27
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| This is a one-liner disguised as art. |
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GHcool
"Forever a curious character."
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Posted - 06/20/2009 : 19:13:54
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quote:
Originally posted by Ro�k G01f, MD+
Nigel Tomm
He has 7 films. Each about one hour. Each named after a well known title. The Catcher In The Rye. Oedipus Rex. Even the Qu'ran.
LOL! How did you find this guy?
Check out the budget for Qur'an: $487. I'm guessing that's how much Final Cut Pro Express costs. |
Edited by - GHcool on 06/20/2009 19:26:19 |
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RockGolf
"1500+ reviews. 1 joke."
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Posted - 06/20/2009 : 19:35:40
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I was trying to find out something about Catcher In the Rye, and mistakenly searched IMDB instead of Google. When the title popped up, I knew something was fishy, since no film version would be authorized by Salinger.
I'd now like to quote from Tomm's novel, Scarlett Johansson Asked Artie Lange: "Are You Too Fat To Fish Some Natalie Portman?" He Answered: I Must Have Sex With Adriana Lima, Robin Quivers & Eva Longoria Parker As They're My Life Calendar:
quote:
Whilst the taram pam pam were ooh la la on their ooh la la tra la la constant ha ha ha, the ooh la la, who of course, ooh la la not tarm pam pam to ooh la la their tra la la and found ooh la la rather ooh la la of tra la la about the narrow passage of which the ooh la la brushed the ooh la la from the taram pam pam...
It continues for several pages, without any sign of improvement. Not quite up to the standards of his "The Blah Book" series, is it?
You think I'm kidding don't you? Look |
Edited by - RockGolf on 06/20/2009 19:37:01 |
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GHcool
"Forever a curious character."
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Posted - 06/20/2009 : 19:43:20
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Check out the comments on Amazon for Catcher in the Rye:
quote:
"This was a total rip off! I wish I would of read the other comments and saw them before I bought it. It is a blue screen with nothing on it and no audio. I am so upset that I have to through returning it and my son is not able to watch it and enhance his book report. Terrible to have on Amazon. I have never had an issue or returned anything with Amazon."
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demonic
"Cinemaniac"
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Posted - 06/21/2009 : 00:41:58
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That's funny. If you're dim enough to actually buy it without reading anything about it at all so your kid can avoid reading the book I think fair play to Nigel Tomm.
I'm surprised that Derek Jarman's estate haven't sued though given the similarity to "Catcher in the Rye" to "Blue".  |
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Topic |
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The World's Worst Filmmaker
