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MisterBadIdea 
"PLZ GET MILK, KTHXBYE"
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 Posted - 06/21/2009 : 16:24:45
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About a month ago, I was struck with the realization that the new Transformers movie was coming out, and that I was powerless to prevent myself from watching it.
It's like waiting for a bad report card to come. Sometimes being a film geek has its downsides, and this is definitely one of them. I don't know if I've adequately described this before, but I hate Transformers, I hated everyone involved in the making of Transformers, I hated everyone who paid to see it and thus perpetuated the existence of Transformers, and by extension I hate myself for watching Transformers. I've seen worse movies, but I haven't seen one that actively caused me this much physical pain. Transformers is code among my circle of friends for "worst movie ever."
I already know that Michael Bay has averted the movie from the Two-Part Trilogy problems that plagued The Matrix and Pirates of the Caribbean, which on some level is admirable, but he says he did this because he doesn't want to have to save stuff for the sequel. He just wants to vomit out all the robot-shaped shit in his diseased little mind, so what we're going to get is two and a half incoherent, badly edited hours of robots hitting each other in the balls and throwing pies at each other.
I'm going to see it. Maybe even on opening night. I suck. |
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MisterBadIdea
"PLZ GET MILK, KTHXBYE"
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Posted - 06/28/2009 : 00:44:01
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Saw it.
As a comparison, I'd like to point out that I found the first movie excruciating. Agonizing. But the second time around, prepared for the atrocities to come, it was more depressing, deadening and boring. In an already bad summer blockbuster season, this is the worst -- a full-scale assault on humanity, storytelling, and all your hopes and dreams. Michael Bay is on a mission to make you hate the world just as much as he does. |
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MguyXXV 
"X marks the spot"
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Posted - 06/28/2009 : 03:35:13
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quote:
Originally posted by MisterBadIdea
.In an already bad summer blockbuster season, this is the worst ....
I guess that could be true if you are looking at it from the perspective of someone viewing a talent who gives you reason to expect something significant, only to get something grothesque. But since that describes the abysmal "Land of the Lost," respectfully, I will have to take issue with the pronouncement. While I am sure that the new Transformers film has its own little circle of hell to inhabit, I am certain it is numerous levels above the pit owned and operated by "Land of the Lost," which is truly an abomination. |
Edited by - MguyXXV on 06/28/2009 03:36:55 |
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MisterBadIdea
"PLZ GET MILK, KTHXBYE"
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Posted - 06/28/2009 : 04:55:18
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Didn't see Land of the Lost, as even my own masochism has its limits. I can only presume however that they fail in the same ways: they are bad comedies.
As a sidenote, I respected The Hangover more on an intellectual level that on a comedic level, in that it was composed entirely of jokes related to the plot rather than a worn-out comedian recycling his own shtick to ever diminishing returns. The Hangover may well be the wave that wipes away the Owen Wilsons, Will Ferrells and Ben Stillers permanently. |
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MguyXXV
"X marks the spot"
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Posted - 06/28/2009 : 14:36:33
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2shay.  |
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Demisemicenturian
"Four ever European"
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Posted - 07/26/2009 : 02:59:31
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quote:
Originally posted by MisterBadIdea
The Hangover may well be the wave that wipes away the Owen Wilsons... permanently.
Heaven forbid.
Anyway, saw the Transformers film tonight. I was quite enjoying it other than the unconvincingly flashy transformations (which annoyed me in the first one) and the over-anthropomorphisation. But in general it went on too long and I found it excrutiating once they were in Egypt. Apart from that being a very cliched aliens-came-to-Earth-long-ago location, there just seemed to be bits of fighting all over the place and it was a big old mess. I kept falling asleep then, and I had been fully awake up to that point.
And what's with going out for two years and not having said "I love you"?! |
Edited by - Demisemicenturian on 07/26/2009 03:23:04 |
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silly 
"That rabbit's DYNAMITE."
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Posted - 07/27/2009 : 15:23:44
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quote:
Originally posted by Salopian
...there just seemed to be bits of fighting all over the place and it was a big old mess. I kept falling asleep then, and I had been fully awake up to that point.
And what's with going out for two years and not having said "I love you"?!
Exactly! The 'epic battle' went on far too long. In my mind there was never a doubt how it would go, so I kept thinking "get on with it already!"
I would have told that girl practically anything. The first day. |
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randall 
"I like to watch."
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Posted - 11/05/2009 : 20:49:55
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Sometimes you just sit there and marvel at how much work went into something so minor. Watch all those names roll by in the credits. Jesus.
No expense was spared here, but it's like a Twinkie with nothing inside. P.S., filmmakers: I can't tell the Transformers apart, whenever they're fighting I don't know who's good and who's bad except for the yellow guy, and I didn't even realize who'd finally won at the end until John Turturro broke out into a grin!
Ever since the beginning of the video rental era, there have been flicks that make you congratulate yourself for resisting them in theaters. This is simply the latest.
Baddy, didn't you know what you were going to see even before the picture rolled? Don't give them your money: it only encourages them!
EDIT: Only in the movies do you resist telling that chickadee you love her. Tell her anything, jagoff! |
Edited by - randall on 11/05/2009 20:52:16 |
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Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
