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Airbolt 
"teil mann, teil maschine"
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 Posted - 07/27/2010 : 11:45:56
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Well, just watched "Black Eagle" featuring JCVD as a heavy! It's one of the most crudely edited and recorded films I have seen in a long while.
A mash up of euro-heavies, asian chop-socky talent, annoying kid kung-fu types, a Rothrock-alike and JCVD sporting a tanker worth of hair product! The cast speak in heavily accented english which tortures the ears. Action scenes appear at random intervals.
The whole thing has the visual style and sound of a porn film. Thats when they aren't indulging in home movie shots of the location ( somewhere in the med - i forget! )
Even JCVD appears to have lost interest at the end. He appears at the battlements of a fort with a revolver. The heroes are at least half a mile away in a motorboat. He caps off a few shots in no particular direction. Lots of luck, Jean-Claude - you would be struggling with a sniper rifle but have a go anyway! Luckily the Kung Fu guy appears, having despatched the other heavies in the most listless action scene ever.
Stinker!
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Stinker!
