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RockGolf 
"1500+ reviews. 1 joke."
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 Posted - 04/04/2007 : 19:15:08
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As per a recent poll on Sky Movies Comedy, the following are the 10 funniest movie gags of all time:
The top 10 funniest one liners of all times are as follows:
quote:
1. "Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me!" - Kenneth Williams as Julius Caesar in Carry On Cleo (1964)
2. "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!" - Terry Jones as Brian's mum in Life Of Brian (1979)
3. "Surely you can't be serious?" "I am serious - and don't call me Shirley" - Leslie Nielsen as Dr Rumack in Airplane (1980)
4. "Remember you're fighting for this woman's honour, which is probably more than she ever did." - Groucho Marx as Rufus T Firefly in Duck Soup (1933)
5. "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love." - Woody Allen as Alvy Singer in Annie Hall (1977)
6. "Do you have a licence for your minkey?" Peter Sellers as Inspector Clouseau in The Return of the Pink Panther (1975)
7. "Is that... is that hair gel?" - Cameron Diaz as Mary Jensen in There's Something About Mary (1998)
8. "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the War Room." - Peter Sellers as President Merkin Muffley in Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb (1963)
9. "Nice beaver!" "Thank you. I just had it stuffed." - Leslie Nielsen as Lt Frank Drebin and Priscilla Presley as Jane Spencer in The Naked Gun: From The Files of Police Squad! (1988)
10. "When I met Mary I got that old-fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her" - Jim Carrey as Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber (1994).
Huh? That's it? C'mon people surely we can do better than that! (And don't call me Shirley.) Heck, I can come up with five better lines from Airplane! alone.
"Timmy, do you like gladiator movies?"
"Stewardess, I speak jive."
"We have to get these people to a hospital" "A hospital! Doctor, what is it?" "A big building with patients, but that's not important."
"Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue."
"Nervous?" "Yes." "First time?" "No, I've been nervous lots of times."
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BaftaBaby 
"Always entranced by cinema."
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Posted - 04/04/2007 : 19:28:31
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Groucho:
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
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duh 
"catpurrs"
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Posted - 04/04/2007 : 20:14:56
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This isn't one of the all time great funniest, but it is a personal favorite of mine.
Peter MacNicol, Ghostbusters 2:
"Everything you do is bad. I vant you to know this."
---
A Day at the Races (1937)
Groucho, after being urged by Margaret Dumont, "Hold me closer! Closer!"
"If I held you any closer I'd be in back of you."
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Downtown 
"Welcome back, Billy Buck"
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Posted - 04/04/2007 : 20:44:50
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"Not so fast el Guapo! Or I'll fill you so full of lead you'll be using your dick as a pencil!"
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know!"
Three Amigos! |
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lemmycaution
"Long mired in film"
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Posted - 04/04/2007 : 20:52:59
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Doctor at Large--"Yeth, and I'm only thixteen"
Some Like It Hot--"Well, nobody's perfect"
When Harry Met Sally--"I'll have what she's having"
It's a Gift--"LaFong. Carl LaFong. Capital L, small A, capital L small O, small N, small G. LaFong. Carl LaFong"
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turrell
"Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhh "
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Posted - 04/04/2007 : 22:09:11
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| You have all come up with good lines but many of them are funny in context (I speak jive is funny because it comes from an 80-year old white granny) and the ones in the original list are all funny stand alone. |
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benj clews
"...."
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Posted - 04/04/2007 : 22:15:36
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This thread is in real danger of turning into a famous quotes discussion, but what the heck- I'll bite...
Spinal Tap: "It goes to 11"
Dumb & Dumber: "Pretty birdie!"
Blazing Saddles: "The Sherrif's a Ni-"
Evil Dead III: "Right now, you ain't leadin' nothin' but two things: Jack and Shit. And Jack left."
Holy Grail: "I'm not dead yet!"
And one of my all-time favourites as featured in The Life Of Brian...
Brian: "You are all individuals!"
Crowd: "We are all individuals."
Lone voice at the back: "I'm not."
At the other end of the spectrum, I think quite possibly one of the worst gags of all time was Martin Short's joke about the 'Mail' plane in Three Amigos. Even now I flinch thinking about it.
Awful, simply awful. |
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benj clews
"...."
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Posted - 04/04/2007 : 22:20:18
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quote:
Originally posted by turrell
You have all come up with good lines but many of them are funny in context (I speak jive is funny because it comes from an 80-year old white granny) and the ones in the original list are all funny stand alone.
I'd argue that the only difference is in a lot of cases we haven't put in the set-ups, just the final punchline. Granted, the Jive one is largely a visual joke and this is supposed to be one-liners, mind. |
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Chris C
"Four words, never backwards."
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Posted - 04/04/2007 : 23:02:51
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Also from Carry on Cleo:
Bilius: Hail, Mark Antony!
Mark Antony (as played by Sid James): Hail - snow, rain, thunder, lighting - the lot!
Oh, and I nearly forgot this one from A Night at the Opera:
Otis B. Driftwood (Groucho Marx): It's all right, that's in every contract. That's what they call a sanity clause.
Fiorello (Chico Marx): You can't fool me! There ain't no Sanity Claus! |
Edited by - Chris C on 04/04/2007 23:05:19 |
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Joe Blevins
"Don't I look handsome?"
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Posted - 04/04/2007 : 23:45:13
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quote:
Originally posted by turrell
You have all come up with good lines but many of them are funny in context (I speak jive is funny because it comes from an 80-year old white granny) and the ones in the original list are all funny stand alone.
Except for the hair gel one. That only works in context and not as a stand-alone quote. In fact, though I remember the scene quite well, I didn't even recall the particular wording of that line of dialogue. |
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Joe Blevins
"Don't I look handsome?"
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Posted - 04/04/2007 : 23:53:49
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quote:
Originally posted by benj clews
At the other end of the spectrum, I think quite possibly one of the worst gags of all time was Martin Short's joke about the 'Mail' plane in Three Amigos. Even now I flinch thinking about it.
Awful, simply awful.
That joke is painful, I'll admit, but in defense of Three Amigos, the following quotes page reveals that the movie has more than its share of memorable dialogue:
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0092086/quotes
On balance, I actually think Amigos is underrated. |
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thefoxboy
"Four your eyes only."
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Posted - 04/05/2007 : 00:24:40
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Bill Paxton- True Lies:
"I got a really small dick, it's pathetic" |
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lemmycaution
"Long mired in film"
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Posted - 04/05/2007 : 02:48:15
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| The hair gel thing does not belong in a list of one hundred, let alone ten. |
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w22dheartlivie 
"Kitty Lover"
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Posted - 04/05/2007 : 03:34:17
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quote:
Originally posted by turrell
You have all come up with good lines but many of them are funny in context (I speak jive is funny because it comes from an 80-year old white granny) and the ones in the original list are all funny stand alone.
Actually, that's funny because it comes from Beaver and Wally Cleaver's mother. |
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Conan The Westy
"Father, Faithful Friend, Fwiffer"
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Posted - 04/05/2007 : 05:49:37
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| Young Doctors in Love - (announcement over the hospital PA) Due to a mix up in urology, apple juice will no longer be served in the hospital cafeteria. |
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thefoxboy
"Four your eyes only."
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Posted - 04/05/2007 : 06:06:38
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quote:
Originally posted by Conan The Camper
Young Doctors in Love - (announcement over the hospital PA) Due to a mix up in urology, apple juice will no longer be served in the hospital cafeteria.
 I watched that late last year.
The old switch the finger before putting it in the mouth trick.  |
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Top 10 Gags of All Time
